DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize