What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What a dumb baby whore.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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