You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
