Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Come on in and take your pants off
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