JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
vagina is talking i cant
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
