She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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