I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
