wake up i wanna do it froggy style
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
