that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
