I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
