I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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