Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
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It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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