I love black thongs
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
