But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You can't motorboat a personality
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
