She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Randomize
