she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
