I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
