I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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