Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
