they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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