Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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