So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
