So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
