I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
