If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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