happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
