DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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