is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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