wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize