fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
PANTIES FOUND
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