We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
