I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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