mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
