Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
