Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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