I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
