so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
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Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
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Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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