the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize