Slut skills are useful in every country.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
