Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
