did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
