12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
