I CAN MOONWALK!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
