why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
