I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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