a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This baby is an asshole
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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