Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
