Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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