oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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