Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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