who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
