Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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