She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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