He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
