The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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