So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
