mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
