what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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