I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
