"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
