I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
