So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
