I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
