We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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